How does a young woman dating a married man break it off without becoming insane and suicidal?
Friday, November 26th, 2010 at
4:23 pm
Known him 17 years.dating seriously for 2.17 year age difference.lotta history.I can’t go on this way.I got this page by googling suicide by drowning in the tub.please help
Tagged with: 17 years • suicide
Filed under: Dating Married
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will i havent been able to stop either.
let me know what you came up with.
: /
By growing up a little. The thing about affairs is that they’re never based on healthy human emotions, but rather on the negatives- the taste of forbidden fruit, a relationship based on sex and compartmentalization of emotional exchange, and many other negatives.
In the end, when compared to a healthy normal relationship, it’s easy to see where an affair falls short. If you’re feeling lost over a relationship that has no depth, then you need to be aware that most people need more than that in order to thrive. Simply put, you deserve better, and most people intuitively know this.
Ask him to get a divorce, if not then find someone that can be just yours.
You need to seek counseling. Your weak will power and strong feelings for him will make it impossible to do this without help.
Emotions are such all-consuming things, sometimes. Understand that this isn’t the end of your life or happiness. In fact, I would argue that this is the beginning of your happiness. Once you get your whole heart back from him (it will take a long time) you will be a while person again and can find someone who can give you their whole heart, unlike what this married man will ever be able to do.
in the meantime, you should take some time to find out why you let yourself get into this situation. Why would you find a man attractive that is 17 years older than you? Psychologists would suggest there are daddy issues. Only you can know or sure. Search your heart.
Furthermore, why would you fall in love with someone who can never be yours? What did your mind and heart think would happen? What did your mind and heart really want out of this?
If you can find out why you did this, you can treat the issue rather than the symptom.
I wish you all the luck in the world!
Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. Cut all ties with the guy, change your number if you have to. You will feel better away from this situation. You need to work on yourself, and you probably need some counselling to acquire some coping skills. You will be okay, seriously. Noone is worth taking your life over. Get to a counsellor or doctor as soon as you can. They can help you.
By being a woman excepting her responsibilty and her wrong in continuing a relationship with a married man. Then go into counseling to work on her own self-esteem since it’s definitely something deeper if involved with a married man. A strong woman won’t be leered into being with someone else’s husband.
Wow, yours is a pretty serious plea here, and I don’t think you can find the proper answers here… But to try and help, I will tell you this as another woman:
DON’T give your power away like that. You are the WOMAN, and you have OPTIONS when it comes to men; USE YOUR OPTIONS. Fk him and where he came from. He isn’t your problem if he is married to his wife, and be glad for that. Let her have the BAD him. You deserve better, and I think you have been in this for two years too long, to realize that you have that nice boob shirt in your closet, and pull that clear lip gloss out of the bottom of your purse, and go out and be where there are other single, cute, available guys out there waiting to meet YOU. Give THOSE guys the chance, not this dude who is impossible. And you want to give up your life, for someone who won’t give anything up of their life? See how wrong that is? FIGHT back by dropping him off your radar; no text, no email, no phonecalls, don’t answer ANY communication he sends you. Consider it like a diet of losing some DEAD weight in your life. Now you got your freedom back, girl! I know it hurts, love does. But it should NOT be like what you are going through; that was never a HEALTHY relationship. Cry if you want to, curl up on the couch and grieve, and think of the mistake that you will VOW to yourself to not make again! There are many woman right behind you who have SURVIVED; and you are next. YOU TOO shall survive. THAT, I promise you. Pull whatever force you got in you, right NOW. Your time to SHINE is NOW. Fk that guy. There are GOOD men out there; don’t punish yourself and keep punishing yourself over ONE guy… Seriously. PLEASE just vent it out by talking to someone here if you really need to, they will NOT judge you, and are there to help; 1-800-273 TALK it is the National Suicide Prevention Hotline. Lose the loser, dont lose the lesson. In a few days you will get your mojo back and just be angry. Use that anger and get your behind to your local GYM, where you can channel your energies into getting your A S S perfect! That is the best revenge– LIVING WELL. And going on to better brighter freedoms for yourself, that you wouldnt be able to give yourself if you would have continued to be stuck where you are. YOU have that POWER, see? I know you FEEL IT! Below is also a website, that I hope will help, and please remember there are all of us sisters counting on you to kick A S S, for the REST of your LONG SWEET BEAUTIFUL life, and keep educating yourself and bettering yourself so you can collect that BIG FAT PAYCHECK, and go on trips, and meet people, and love life! Mourn if you have to but pick yourself up and dust yourself off! I AM PULLING FOR YOU, AND SO ARE ALL THE WOMEN HERE!
There IS life after the married man….but it’s a hard road. Start by saying NO MORE. Then surround yourself with friends who will help keep you accountable, cry for about six months, and get on with life. You’ll LOVE yourself for it!
Call 1-800-273 TALK. That is the national suicide hot line. You must speak with a professional immediately, and also make arrangements to see a doctor who can prescribe anti depressants. You are not feeling suicidal because of breaking it off with him. You feel this way because you have A LOT of underlying life issues that have built up over a long time. The original mental trauma/ wound probably happened when you were a young child. You suffer from clinical depression and can feel much better with help. Whomever this married idiot is should be the one to die. Maybe his wife would also feel suicidal when she found out that he’s been "dating" for two years!
In one of your other questions, you were going to drown yourself in the ocean since you live close to the beach. Get some professional help as soon as possible. You have more issues than your affair with a married cheater.
You have have to determine within yourself that you really want to stop the relationship, then stop seeing him, avoid him and get yourself engaged in some meaningful that will keep you from thinking about him, with time, you will discover that he is a thing of the past.